27
Jan 12

The good news: I’m 14 weeks and 1 day pregnant today! Whee! Time is flying by! AND (OH I hate to jinx it but knock on wood and all that) I think that maybe just maybe my morning sickness is starting to go away(?). I only had ONE gagging/dry heaving incident today (is it sad that Anna has grown used to this? She now casually remarks, “Oh, Mommy, are you just doing the throw-upping again?” and then goes about her business).

The bad news: I have a head cold and that is making me absolutely freaking miserable. Especially because I can’t take anything to make me feel better. I have been doing sinus rinse/neti pot 2x/day and drinking lots of water and trying to rest but the rest of the time I am complaining to anyone who will listen (namely, Adam) that I am so miserable and I just want to breathe out of my nose and waaah waaah waaah because I am a big baby, apparently. Adam has really stepped up and done a ton of the child management the last couple of days which has been really helpful. Makes it easier for me to lay in bed with a box of kleenex and moan.

So…sniff sniff. I’ll come back and write more soon, when I’m not feeling this way anymore. (There has to be an end, right?)

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25
Jan 12

Bump @ 13+ weeks

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I’m pretty sure that’s a baby in there and not just an extra serving or two of pasta. But I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

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25
Jan 12

Not boring at all

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In one of my most proud and exciting parenting moments EVER (!), last night Anna spelled her first (spontaneous–as in wasn’t prompted to by an adult at home or school) word! She was playing with our refrigerator magnets while I washed the dinner dishes (with my back turned to her). She said, “Look, Mommy! I spelled bored!” and I turned to see her proudly showing off her handiwork. I realized a minute or two later (after asking her why bored?) that she meant “board,” but I’m still counting it as pretty impressive! We got to have a discussion about homonyms and then I helped her spell “board” instead. I don’t know why, exactly, but her learning to read and write thrills me more than any other milestone she has reached in her 5 years (well, perhaps with the exception of learning how to walk as she took her sweet time learning to do that!). Pretty cool. I am looking forward to many more words….phrases….sentences to come! Hooray for spelling!

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17
Jan 12

It ain’t easy but at least it’s fresh

I (genuinely!) like that we make almost everything in our house “from scratch.” From breads to sauces to desserts….it’s just the way we do things around here. But tonight, as I wearily chopped onions to make a tomato sauce to go with our Chicken Parmigiana, I thought to myself, damn…I really wish I had a jar of Ragu!*

*This post is guaranteed to make my lovely husband’s head hurt. It would make him cry to see a jar of cheapie pasta sauce sitting in our pantry, when “it’s so easy to make it ourselves! And better!” I know, Honey. I know. I’m just so tired.

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16
Jan 12

Deep breath

I owe my husband a debt of gratitude because not only did he keep a cool and level head on Saturday evening (when we took Anna into the ER with labored breathing), but he also slept (ha! like anyone actually sleeps in the hospital) right by Anna’s side all that night, while I had a restful 8 hours of solid sleep at home by myself.

Anna had a cold that did the thing that it always does with her–it went to her chest and lungs and triggered asthmatic breathing. We are used to that. We have all the tools to deal with that here at home: an inhaler, a nebulizer, Albuterol, Pulmicort (for when it gets really bad). What was different this time? We suspect that her little body got so dehydrated during the day on Saturday that it just wasn’t as strong as it needed to be. We couldn’t get on top of her symptoms at home, so in the car we went with our sick girl to Goleta Cottage Hospital ER, where they gave us prompt, courteous, and extremely helpful attention. Poor girl, there were so many things that were traumatic for her: just being in the hospital, getting an Xray, having an IV line placed (probably one of the funniest things here was when the nurse approached her with the alcohol swab and she started screaming “I DON’T WANT A SHOT! NO SHOTS!!!!!” like he was going to poke her with that little square of wetness), then the transfer to downtown and the night in the hospital). She’s a trooper and we knew she had definitely turned the corner when she asked (Oh, this is embarrassing and you have to know she has only had them ONE time before in her entire life!) for some Chicken McNuggets (of course we got them for her! She hadn’t eaten in more than 24 hours!). The prednisone sure has changed her appetite around!

After one sleepless night in the hospital, she was discharged, along with her prednisone, her inhaler, and her medications for the nebulizer. I, for one, am counting down the hours until the prednisone has left her system as it has made her not only ravenous (which is fine, I’m happy to provide food for my teensy one) but also agitated and, how do I best put this?, pretty damned bitchy. She woke us up at 4 am screaming that we had to bring her books and turn on her light because she could. not. sleep! BRING ME BOOKS RIGHT NOW! When we went to try and calm her down, she tried to throw things at us and started running around the house, still screaming. I took her lamp away (mistake? It was hard to back down after I threw down the gauntlet that there would be no reading of books at 4 am) and then that turned into her insistence that the lamp be returned. Right now. Immediately. And if I wouldn’t give it back, she would get it back herself (also humorous: watching her try and reach into one of the highest cupboards in our house with her 6″ tall stepstool). So that was fun. Especially because this all happened just 20 minutes or so before Adam’s alarm clock went off (he had a 6 am flight this morning).

But, the main point here is that she is breathing a lot better and thank goodness for that. It was scary for me to see her struggling to breathe. And I am thankful for medical personnel being there when we need them. What a relief to walk into the ER and have them say, Let me take you right back. What a relief to know that that is there.

These times of sickness are the trenches of parenting. The moments where you buck up and put your head down and run into the storm. Where you put on your battle armor and prepare. They are intense, they are heart pounding, and they scare the crap out of me so thank goodness we are on the path to wellness now. Deep breath.

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15
Jan 12

Once a researcher, always a researcher

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Is this the nerdiest thing you’ve ever seem? Its a head-to-head test of rate of dissolving. TJ’s vs. The Expensive Brand. For what it’s worth, I know this isn’t the only important merit of a prenatal vitamin. I’m going to take the Rainbow Lights now (just had not had time to run to Lazy Acres the last couple of weeks so I bought Trader Joe’s to see me through until then).

I am such a nerd.

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13
Jan 12

Sleepy

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13
Jan 12

Fancy Nancy

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We made her remove the skirt headdress before school this morning. She was less than pleased.

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12
Jan 12

Mama’s arms don’t reach quite that far

Yesterday, as we drove home from her swimming lesson, Anna asked me, “Is that the way to Grandma’s house?” We were on the freeway driving north and since we live in Santa Barbara and her Grandma lives in Portland, I said, “Umm, yes. Sort of.”

“But she is up in the hills, right?”

“Yes, sort of. But Grandma lives all the way in Oregon and that is pretty far from where we are in California.”

“Well, what if we were in an airplane? Could we see Grandma’s house then?”

“Yes, if we were flying over Portland. But not if we were here.”

“Well, what if you picked me up over your head and lifted me up? Could I see Grandma’s house then?”

That’s when I started laughing. “No, I can’t lift you that high. You’d have to be very, very high up to be able to see that far. Like outer space high up.”

It was funny and yet….it was one of those moments where I realized how much stock she puts in what I say. How much power and strength she thinks I have. To think that I could lift her up to see what she couldn’t see in an airplane. How many more years do I have of this? How much more time before she sees me as I am, powerless and bumbling through life, just like all the rest of my cohort, these so-called “grownups?” And then, how much longer until she comes back around again, realizes her mistake, understands, despite my relative powerlessness, how the years have given me wisdom that she hasn’t had the time to accumulate yet?

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10
Jan 12

Books 2011

I read 31 books in 2011. I think that this is the first year that I have ever tracked every single book, keeping a running tally. I’m a very fast reader, but I don’t always devote as much time to reading these days as I used to. Usually I a regulate reading to a few stolen moments under the covers at the end of the long day. Some nights this means that I am up far too late (if a captivating book)….or it means that I hardly read any pages at all, making finishing a book take forever (a less interesting book–I rarely give up on books though–I like to finish).

The list (with some remarks and links to the books; almost all of these were Kindle edition):

The Elegance of the Hedgehog by Muriel Barbery. My (one and only) note in my journal about this book says, “brilliant.” I only wished that it (the book) had been longer.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy. This is (awesome!) free to download to the Kindle. I think that this is my third reading of the book and I have to say that reading as an all-grown-up adult is a very different experience from reading it as a teenager and a young adult. I found it depressing (I mean, how can it not be? Adultery and suicide being among its topics) but the writing is just (for the most part)….beautifully depressing. I honestly hate the political parts of it–I find them boring–but the characters are so captivating that even though this is an incredibly long book, it still held me (with some brief skimming of the parts where Levin goes on and on and on and on….).

It Must Have Been Something I Ate: The Return of the Man Who Ate Everything by Jeffrey Steingarten. Loved this one. So entertaining. Warning: if you are the kind of couple who both enjoys gastronomy be prepared to annoy your partner by insisting that they listen to (many, many) sections of the book, after you’ve pored over it yourself. They will roll their eyes and then they will surreptitiously read portions when you aren’t looking. It’s that good.

The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer by Siddhartha Mukherjee. Fascinating and informative. Obviously I have a vested interest in cancer and cancer research but this really was a terrific science read. It was interesting to read about the history of the treatment of cancer, to see how much trial and error has been involved in trying to find a cure. This book both filled me with despair (so much we don’t know!) and with hope (great strides have been and continue to be taken).

Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll. I don’t know that I had ever really read this before. Maybe portions of it. “Weird and wonderful” is what I wrote to myself in my notes about this one. Definitely a quick read.

The Paris Wife: A Novel by Paula McLain. So so so so good. Several years ago I went through a Hemingway phase and this definitely rekindled my desire to re-read some of his works. And, yes, it would seem that the story itself would be rough to read because it is about the dissolution of a marriage and yet….and yet….I just loved this book. It helped that I read it right after my spring trip to Paris as I was able to visualize the very neighborhoods and areas in which the story took place.

A Moveable Feast by Ernest Hemingway. This was one of the Hemingway books that I had never read and, after having read a recommendation by a blogger that I like, I decided I must read it immediately. I’ve actually got Adam reading it right now and I think he loves it. Hemingway is such a brilliant author–so passionate and strong and he cuts right through the crap. I especially loved what he had to write about writing. It is a portrait of an unusual time and place, so many personalities all living and creating and socializing together. F. Scott Fitzgerald is my all time favorite author and, even though he is portrayed in this book as an irresponsible drunk, I gobbled up the sections about him. What a crazy time.

The Last Queen: A Novel by C.W. Goftner. I chose this one because I wanted to read something historical about Spain while we were visiting there in May. It was a good choice for the Spain trip. It was interesting and it provided good historical background for understanding a little bit of the Spanish monarchy.

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. How can one go wrong with Jane Austen? This is such an enjoyable read. As situated in its time as it is, the emotions and the relationships are so universally relevant, even in this day and age.

The Great Gatsby by F.Scott Fitzgerald. Just lovely. One of my all time favorites. Tragic and gorgeous.

When Did I Get Like This: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be by Amy Wilson. Funny and true but, ultimately, a pretty forgettable book.

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. I got sucked into all the press for the upcoming movie. The books was….okay. Not the best book ever. The plot does move along and it is entertaining but I got annoyed by the dialogue and characters.

The Story of Beautiful Girl by Rachel Simon. Oh my goodness, I just loved this book. Interesting, thought-provoking, well told. Great story, very engrossing.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett. I borrowed this one from Mom after hearing what felt like everyone say that they loved it. Excellent and well worth the hype. Such an interesting glimpse into a world that I knew nothing about. It made me wonder about any similarities to the Latin American “help” living and working here in Southern California, in this day and age. What level of prejudice exists here and now?

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. I know everyone loved this book. I feel ambivalent (sorry). Yes, I couldn’t put it down. It did have that going for it. But it was creepy. And the dialogue was stupid. And it just seemed very, I dunno, very Young Adult (which I believe it is actually marketed as but I didn’t expect because so many of my Regular Adult friends seemed to have read it). I don’t know that I will read any of the other books in the series. I didn’t feel compelled to read the second one right after this first one so….I don’t know. (But, like I said, I could NOT put this book down! Had to find out what happened!).

Sleepwalk with Me and Other Painfully True Stories by Mike Birbiglia. I needed something light after reading The Hunger Games. I had heard this author on This American Life and I couldn’t get his (hilarious) story out of my head so I decided to check out his book. Hilarious! Loved it.

Love in Mid Air by Kim Wright. This is the story of a woman who has an affair and leaves her marriage. There are some great descriptions of suburban housewifery, but all in all I didn’t really resonate with the main character and that made it difficult for me to really and truly like this book.

What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. Great read. It kept me up at night (had to finish it!). I actually found this novel thought-provoking. It is about the little things that add up through the years and the ways in which we just might miss them.

It Sucked and Then I Cried by Heather Armstrong. Meh. I love her blog, but I’m not so sure about this book. Not so funny and not so touching so this didn’t really do it for me.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Dark and moody. Kind of a slog to get through (I don’t remember thinking this the first time I read it, years ago. I think I LIKED all the dark and moody back then. Now I feel like, come on people! Snap out of it!).

The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. I kept getting this book as a recommendation on Amazon and passing it over. A book whose narrator was (supposedly) a dog? Um, weird. NO thanks. Finally I downloaded it and I am glad I did. Engrossing (even though it is about car racing, not a favorite topic of mine by any means!). I LOVED that it came from the dog’s point of view. Kept me up way too late reading. (Adam read it after me and it only took him two days to read it, which is some kind of record for him–a quick read!).

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. I was intrigued enough, after all the press that this book got, to read it and judge for myself whether the so-called Tiger Mother was cruel and oppressive or simply doing what she needed to do to help her daughters excel. It was certainly food for thought reading this book. Me personally? I wouldn’t have wanted to be the author’s daughter. Yikes.

State of Wonder by Ann Patchett. So good. Loved it (as I have loved all of this author’s books).

Away: A Novel by Amy Bloom. Weird.

Shanghai Girls: A Novel by Lisa See. Good book. I enjoyed this one.

Let’s Take the Long Way Home: A Memoir of Friendship by Gail Caldwell. Touching.

Nowhere Near Normal: A Memoir of OCD by Traci Foust. Oddly Fascinating.

Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage by Elizabeth Gilbert. Good and thought provoking. Marriage is what you make of it. I agree.

Rescue: A Novel by Anita Shreve. This was okay but not one of my favorites. Fairly entertaining but not brilliant.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. Adam made me read this, after he read it himself. It was fun to have our own little book club! I just don’t agree with the philosophy of the book, but….it is an enjoyable read.

Anywhere but Here by Mona Simpson. Entertaining novel.

And….started but did not finish until it was 2012:
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. I give up! I just had to read this after all the hype and the movie and everything. Disturbing and yet so incredibly readable. I really liked it.

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